Need
by Cyath
Summary: An older Ashitaka and San meet on a moonlit night. Lemon.


Needs

Night.

True night, not the pale, everyday semblance of the force, the entity that came only sparingly to bless the earth with it's presence. True night was more - a dark cloak of velvet blackness that permeated the very earth and sky with it's essence and set the stars sparkling with white fire, light against the cool shade of day's end. A more that only a few could sense, let alone experience.

To the lone figure making it's lonely way up the mountain road, it was more than enough. He reveled in it, exulted in the grace it lent every aspect of his steady, slow upwards motion, one leg falling in ceaseless step behind the other. Because for him it was relief enough to be in the wild - again, the true wild. The place blessed by the Beast God, not merely a few scattered animals and plants. More.

Like her. Just like she was more than all this, the wind that sighed above and over the verdant plain around him, more than the sky and the clouds' eternal dance. More than just the fact the wind smelled of her.

She was everything here, separate but same...somehow more than all of it.

He smiled once, a smile of slow, budding, joy.

He needed her. He had only realized that over the last few months, cloistered in the East Ward of Tokyo as he was, fending of the needless attentions of courtier and courtesan alike. He needed her as he had never had before, even when they were fighting for their lives, or when she was feeding him that leaf. Need had raged within, a pure primal force that had shaken off the shackles of civilization and brought him back here. To her. For her.

The wind soughed again, the grass rippling before him in slow, fluid waves. So beautiful - how could anyone seek to despoil this? One had, he knew, too well. Had tried. But that was the past. The past was for forgetting, for remembering, sometimes. For not thinking, for simply knowing, the animal way. He smiled again. Her scent was higher now, fainter as the updrafts carried it away, but clearer, too. Closer.

Another smile. The hunt was on.

With a howl of ecstasy he took to his feet, letting the cry peal out into the night, running faster and faster and faster and finally falling to all fours, only to rise again and run and cry and scream his joy to the blackness, the warm comforting embrace of nature all around him. He was home, and he needed her. And she would come. He needed her as he needed his arm, his legs, his eyes. As he would a mate. He never paused to consider the why or how of it - just ran.

He ran and he cried out again, this time from the sheer pleasure of the earth pounding beneath his feet, his muscles playing beneath his skin and the sky above his head. Slowly, then with increasing rapidity, the ground fell away from him, the distance between the hilltop and him shortening with every step -

...and then in one final leap he was there. Her smell struck him like a physical blow - hot, damp and musky with just the slightest whiff of fragrance. He paused, looking, panting from the long run up, but saw no one. Where was she?

For a moment, doubt. Then instinct overcame him - "San?"

Silence. The wind, the sky and the air. The grass around. The muted buzz and chirp of night insects, the muffled myriad noises of animals. Nothing else.

Then - "Ashitaka?"

She barreled into him even as he turned to her, their mutual embrace turning stronger, fiercer, as they tumbled down the hill, gasping and shrieking from the touch of the other, the cold air and the feeling of cloth and skin on the bare ground - his hands meeting hers, then shifting down for better purchase, her breath hot against his neck, wild, flashing eyes -

Then it was quiet again, and she was staring at him. Wild eyes - wolf eyes, he realized.

*I'm not a human! I'm a mountain wolf! Afraid, hesitant, yet fiercely defiant.* He had always wondered if that was the moment he had fallen in love with her, when she had forced him to confront his own humanity. But then...

*I love you, Ashitaka. But I cannot forgive the humans.* Was that it? Her face had haunted him for months later, eyes soft but still hard with restrained anger, body quick, supple and strong like the wind. Like a wolf. No...that wasn't it.

"San..." his voice came out as a rasp. "I missed you."

A flicker of recognition, the beginning of a smile - yes, a smile, he knew that he had never seen her smile - and then she turned away.

Later, then. Months, as the memories and the small scar the Shishigami had left on his left hand faded. Years later, as he went to Tokyo to live, still remembering. Knowing that he had left a part of himself back with her, a princess by her wolf's side. Needing something more.

Now the tears. Despair and uncertainty ran rampant through him as he stood speechless, the wind whistling mournful through the trees, her back to him. Cool rivers ran down his cheeks, thoughts forgotten - could she have known why he came? Because this time he came with a need primal in nature...not human. Perhaps that was it. He was human, and therefore cut off from her.

"Ashitaka." Her voice...different, somehow, as she turned back to him. Older, stronger. He tried to ignore the feelings it evoked from him, the burning fires it lit, and looked instead at the smooth play of her back muscles, the long mane of ebony hair cascading down from her shoulders. Her scent returned - more forceful, seeking, full of a insistent hunger. The air was chill as he knelt beside her.

"Ashitaka..." Again, his name. He whispered hers back as her arms snaked around his, slowly and then gently - eyes, again, as he looked at her. Wolf eyes, brown flecked with gray. Their gazes locked, the moments stretching into a distance far beyond what lay between them. He couldn't resist, he...

"...sonata ga utsukushii. Hontou ni."

Silence, for a while, again. He fought back the need, content to rest near her, to take in every aspect of her being, the slender strength beneath the even now small, lithe frame. His name escaped her one last time, a hiss, almost unbelieving, when she turned her head away again.

He knew what to do this time - it was the animal way, after all.

"San...I'm here." Simple words, fingers reaching to her, heart quickening at the feel of skin against skin. "I never knew when you became shy." Laughing slightly now, pressing her against him more, scent and feeling threatening his feeble control, almost unbearable. "I..." he left it at that and let the wind sing out instead. She would know.

Shifting to see him. Wolf but human eyes, and a longing hidden deep within. She was beautiful, and now, older, his breath caught in his throat to see her anew. Need rose and he beat it back down, amazed at her, how she had grown, changed. And then...

"Ashitaka...I..." Shy. Almost shy, almost human, her voice was. Gentle...searching. "I...want you. I wanted you back."

This time there were no words - only skin against skin and flesh against flesh and the sky above and ground below as they embraced.

Eyes as she reached out wonderingly to caress his face, and eyes again as he did hers, aware now of the heat building between them. Eyes a last final time as their embrace tightened, deepened with unspoken need, and then his mouth met hers, slowly, ever so exquisitely slowly, pushing him down to the cool earth, body and mind in mutual harmony. He had not needed to worry - she had known. Animal but human...gentle yet fierce - his San, he realized. Years of unrealized longing came back in a flare of passion, and then they were rolling together, shedding clothes haphazardly among the leaves and flowers. He was brought up short next to her, amazed at their shared passion.

Eyes as they looked up to each other, green to almost-gray, a locked stare that changed to shy caresses, hands roaming down each other. No words were needed - all his explanations, his reasons, tumbling away in the light of San's soft but insistent touch. Hands, this time, tracing myriad swirling paths along each other, and hands, yes, oh-so responsive hands that brushed aside his hair and clothes and stroked him time and time again.

It was sheer bliss for a while, the world receding into nothing but a background blur as they rubbed and pushed against the other. Then she spoke, whispering. "Why did you come back, Ashitaka?" Stopping, waiting for his answer, hands still restless upon his back. So very, very beautiful - black hair like a waterfall, body incredibly, utterly alive under him. Eyes deep and promising, promising more. He found himself suddenly thinking if she thought him attractive as well, and...

He understood, then. She was not a mountain wolf, yes, but not truly human either - rather, a cross, a perfect union of the two. His San...his Mononoke Hime, a princess with her wolf eyes. She needed him, he needed her; the animal way, certainly, but humans needed something more. The more that had brought him back here, that answered her question - the more called love.

Moments which stretched to eternity and beyond as they stared. He willed her to understand, to feel, what he was thinking. Why he had come back.

*I hate humans!*

*I'm a human too.*

Need reached out, scents twining and merging. And then, she, too, understood.

Passion flamed again, unrestrained and full of wildness as their last bits of clothes came off, his breeches forming a tangled mass with her shirt - he paused suddenly, at once amazed and a bit frightened at the sudden sight of her two well-formed breasts. Then she leapt onto him, her mouth finding his, and indecision vanished in the blaze of pure need. Pure, primal wanting...he let his thoughts dissolve to nothing, his inhibitions falling away as he surrendered his very being to the undefinable *rightness* of being close to her.

No more eyes - they were past the stage of such affirmations of love; now it was only body to body contact, heat blossoming from them and the sweet headiness of desire. Their kiss broke, he now barely aware of the surging ardor from his loins, as he brought his hands up to caress her - moans from the two as they descended ever lower, pausing, now and then, to listen, to savor the cries of the other. The sudden clarity of everything happening broke like a wave upon him, and then it all seemed so much more wonderful.

They stopped, each panting heavily from exertion and sweat; he favored him with a small, shy smile, and he gave her one in return, tracing a finger tenderly down her jaw. It had been so long...and yet, this was different from the sadness that had overtaken him at her leaving, or the slow ache for her that had grown over

the years. This was dreams realized and hope made and skin on skin and more. She gave a low growl of pleasure and turned on her back - he gasped at the change from heat to coolness - then smiled back at her grin.

It began again, slower, more purposeful and hungrier, in a way, both now in complete and wordless understanding. His hands latched on to her breasts seemingly of their own accord, and he delighted in her soft whimpers of ecstacy as his hands stroked the yielding softness, her nipples forming rock-hard points almost instantly. With exquisite care he brought them lower, then lower again, her cries turning to low moans - then up once more, stroking fast and harder, smiling. This was what he wanted to give her; a more human, slower kind of loving, in tune with the desire of both.

But she had other ideas. The next second she was all over him, then on him, her mouth fastened to his and then her own scent and hungry *need* hit him, and then all was lost. He was rolled then pushed over, her sweaty slick body so maddeningly close to his own, hair and arms flying wildly, and then before he was aware of anything else she had righted herself and forced him down and was on him and then in...

He had barely enough time to gasp out before the world exploded in front of him, his vision blurring with the sheer force of their joining. She had let out her own sounds as well, grunting, whining and growling softly, and his dazed mind had to admit that yes - her own way had its merits. Then it was only her and him; no eyes no hands and nothing else. Two bodies moving in sweet, eternal rhythm...slowly he whispered her name, letting each syllable escape in a rush of air, and she reared back, arching her beautiful body and smiled at him - a night goddess astride her stallion...

And then they were moving again, the insistent yearning rushing steadily to it's conclusion, hips moving furiously with strands of both their hair plastered to sweaty bodies - he gasped and moaned with her as they rode the need, the swift onrushing wave of mutual pleasure, to it's climax. She dug into his back, alternately shrieking and whimpering softly, while he pressed into her as hard as he could...gods, he thought, so soft and so very, very good. Every stroke seemed to bring new wave of incredible bodily sensation - rushing, no, *flowing* from his loins to break over him - he moaned; couldn't hold out for much longer, filled with such intense, bursting need, her now long, passion-filled cries only serving to spur him on, faster, ever faster -

The wave blossomed, swelled into a tsunami and then he was lost, both shouting out in release, sounds merging as their bodies had into a note of fulfillment that spiraled high into the clouds above. His entire body was sweat-soaked, hair hanging in limp, damp strands down his eyes, as he looked up at her own contented gaze. And then smiled - and gasped in shock as she brought her face down for a slow, lingering kiss. He relaxed, smelling her own wet hair and feeling her body, hot and alive against his.

But it seemed that she wasn't finished. Almost immediately her kiss turned from languid to forceful, once again full of hungry longing, and she was pushing against him in small ways, her hands finding places on his back and legs, her breasts brushing his chest - her smell rose to become heady with sheer desire, and he realized in startled surprise that she was quite probably in heat. Strangely enough, that prospect didn't seem to deter his interest in the least; it instead spurred him on to return the caresses she was already giving him. He didn't stop to question the lack of tiredness he felt, just gave in to heat and the not inconsiderable still remaining desire.

The second time, if possible, was even better than the first. She rode him with a passion bordering on ferocity, but what made it all the more wonderful was the expression of utter rapture she had while she did it - the little side trips her hands made down all over him, the secret feral smiles she gave him and her gentle licking near his neck...like an animal, he realized, but he didn't care. And with that thought he came again, uncontrollably, that she was his San, his dear, longed-for San and his mate as well. And then they have rolled over and did it a third time, this time with him on top - he found the position gave him a lot more control, an advantage which he put to good use...

Later, as they lay cooling in the night breeze, she cuddled nearer to him. He turned to admire her face in the darkness - eyes. Eyes full of happiness. He snaked an arm around her and pulled her closer, pausing only once to indulge in another kiss. Even her lips, he found, tasted slightly different. Sated, contented. Joyful.

And wasn't that what he loved about her? He regarded her, silent and full of untamed beauty, as she sighed softly and moved ever closer. That she was like this, feral and full of the essence of nature. That was his need, the first part of which was gone but the second essential part remaining - he was human, after all. He still needed her in another way.

She reaffirmed that need the next second, in a long, searching gaze and soulful kiss. He lay back, accepting and giving, and then there was nothing else for him to want or desire. He had his lover by his side and the night, and the fresh air and nothing else did he need. They lay like that for a time, peaceful and without care.

Then slowly, smiling, he sneaked his fingers behind her back and began to knead lightly. Her response was somewhere halfway between a purr and a murmur, but her continuing rubbing against him showed her evident affection for his motions. He began to rub more gently, then alternatively harder and deeper in circles than widened across the smooth texture of her back, pausing only to flick back a strand of damp hair from her back and tenderly run one finger through the tangled black mass.

And then his hands were crossing her front in strong yet delicate caresses that made her squirm and cry out anew - he teased her nipples unmercifully, then cupped the soft flesh and began to knead it. He smiled again at her low growl and shifted his path down, over her thighs and then back higher to her shoulders in quick, deft motions. She pushed against him, almost angry at his playing with her - then gasped as he slipped in his need between her legs and pressed it nearer hers.

From then on he was able to take his time - she acquiesced readily enough to his delicate ministrations across her slender frame, and her occasional whispers and moans only spurred him on to greater efforts. But she seemed to know what he was doing, what he wanted to give her - a slower, gentler and ultimately more human kind of loving than the wild animal passion before. Not that he hadn't liked it; he found himself sorely tempted to give in to his desires and he watched her writhe and twist before him, but he had also discovered how very exciting it was to prolong the wait.

Finally, he relented, ceasing his hands' motions and pressing her to him as she tried to both kiss him fiercely and wrap her long legs around his - failing miserably due to feelings renewed from his body's sudden contact. Maybe there was something to be said about waiting even longer, he thought mischievously, bracing himself against her and continuing the interrupted kiss. He felt her soft breasts under him again, now hot and from exertion, and licked them tenderly - she arched her back, spurring him on to tweak the hard nipples, then stroke her to higher heights of passion. She tried but could not stop his relentless assault; whether it was instinct or simply luck, he seemed to know exactly where to touch at the right time. Sweat bathed the two, and he found himself not totally immune to her legs hooking themselves to his, the incredibly potent smell of her, wet mound against him, her licking of his neck and least of all her long, frustrated moans. Their actions continued, becoming alternately more and less frenzied, varying in intensity and rhythm till both couldn't stand it any longer - she was just about ready to claw him, and the rush of blood to his head was making him feel faint.

So he shifted to his side, pausing only to savor one last lingering caress over her lithe frame, and rolled over. In a flash she was astride him again, only to pull him away, growling softly as she let him fit himself between her legs. He let his fingers trail down her thighs and up her sides one last time and smiled - she returned the gesture with a grin and quick movement forwards that left him gasping for breath. Suddenly, it all hit him, here on the grass with his lover, his mate that he had been waiting for for such a long, long time, and all his muted and suppressed need came to the fore and with his own cry of desire he thrust into her, heedless of her ululating wail of delight or lines of blood that she drew down his back. And then he was only aware of how good it was, and how tight and close she was to him - need rose and he moved again, and again and again once more into a series of long, slow thrusts. She clamped her legs to him and raising one hand to stroke his cheek…he smiled down and somehow managed to bring his hands into play through the haze of sweet pleasure that enveloped him, heightened by both her complementing motions and own active hands.

They moved against each other until finally they were both at the brink, to that last moment of giving and taking. He realized how close she was to him and on impulse kissed her gently - and then it broke upon him and his whole body was singing in release as he emptied himself into her and felt her own desire reach and crest it's peak - and he was still kissing her, and she him, with tender softness. They lay in each other's arms, letting the bittersweet ache from their limbs fade and exchanging an occasional kiss, cuddle or caress now and then. No words - only eyes and the great star-studded canopy above.

"Ashitaka." He turned to meet her. "San?"

"No…nothing." But he knew, and held her as they cooled from their loving in the night air. And they lay side by side as the day dawned.


End file.
